


The turning of the year

by Ailendolin



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, Found Family, Future Fic, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, New Year's Eve, Plans For The Future, Post-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22051948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailendolin/pseuds/Ailendolin
Summary: 'What are you doing up here?' Amaya asked. 'Shouldn’t you be enjoying the wine and celebrations?''I was looking for you,' Gren said. His eyes met hers briefly and he hesitated. 'I thought you might like some company, maybe? It’s all right if you don’t, I don’t mean to intrude. I know how special this place is for you, and this day. I just thought I’d make sure you’re all right. Which you are, obviously.' He bit his lip and paused, shaking his head. 'I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. It was a stupid idea.'Amaya used to spend New Year's Eve with Sarai high up on the castle walls, just the two of them. For the last decade the place next to her has been empty. This year, Gren changes that.
Relationships: Amaya & Gren & Soren & Marcos (The Dragon Prince), Amaya & Gren (The Dragon Prince), Amaya & Marcos (The Dragon Prince), Amaya & Sarai (The Dragon Prince), Amaya & Soren (The Dragon Prince), Amaya/Gren (The Dragon Prince)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 70
Collections: Dragon Prince





	The turning of the year

**Author's Note:**

> Happy new year, Gremaya folks! I come bearing gifts *g*
> 
> This fic was partly inspired by this [wonderful art](https://horns-n-jams.tumblr.com/post/189437973883/celebration) by the lovely [horns-n-jams](https://horns-n-jams.tumblr.com/) . Please go check out their blog and Gremaya art!
> 
> And as always: I'm not a native speaker so don't hesitate to point out any mistakes I made.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Dragon Prince and I'm not making any money with this story.

**The turning of the year**

The night was dark but not too cold yet, even though it was winter and the year was fading. Amaya stood high up on the castle walls of Katolis, looking over the kingdom that once belonged to her sister with a heavy heart. Sarai had loved it up here. Every year on her birthday, come nightfall she would grab Amaya’s hand and together they would steal away to the highest walls that offered the grandest views, a basket full of jelly tarts their faithful companion every time. Only four weeks later, on the last day of the year, Sarai would do the same again, this time to escape the loud and often rowdy celebrations down in the castle hall. Amaya might not have heard the raucous laughter or the songs the bards sang (often out of key, as Sarai insisted with a grimace) but she was glad to leave behind the many gazes she felt resting on her, some full expectations and hope, others of a less favorable kind.

 _Did you see Lord What’s-his-name? He was practically undressing you with his eyes!_ Sarai once exclaimed many years ago. _He’s twice as old as you!_

_And twice the fool if he thinks I’d be even remotely interested in someone who can’t even walk up a flight of stairs without having to catch his breath._

Amaya still remembered the way Sarai had laughed at that. Not the sound, obviously, but how her eyes crinkled at the corners and how the left side of her lips rose just a little higher than the right when she grinned.

She really missed that smile.

Over the years, she had shared many laughs with her sister up on the castle walls, most at the expense of various lords and ladies who thought they were better than everyone else and more often than not made fools of themselves because of it. They’d had so much fun back then, and Amaya treasured those moments now like some people valued gold and gemstones. This place held so many precious memories from the years Sarai had reigned as queen that Amaya couldn’t help but think of it as _theirs_. As far as she knew her sister had never taken anyone else up to the walls to enjoy the view, not even Harrow, or Callum and Ezran. It had only ever been them up here, two sisters standing side by side high above a kingdom they had both vowed to protect with their lives.

And now the space next to Amaya was empty.

It had been ten years already since she’d last stood here with Sarai. Sometimes, Amaya could hardly believe how much time had passed, how long she’d already been living without her sister’s guidance and companionship. So much had happened in the last decade, so much Sarai never got to see and experience with them. There were the bad things, of course, and Amaya was glad Sarai didn’t have to live through the Moonshadow Elves’ assassination attempt on her husband and her youngest son. But there were good moments, too – great ones, even, and Amaya could not even begin to imagine how proud Sarai would have been of Callum and Ezran for returning the dragon prince to his mother and bringing peace to Xadia and the human kingdoms in the process.

How she wished Sarai could be here right now and watch elves and humans mingle in her courtyard, enjoying the same jelly tarts she used to love so much. Her sister would have been pleased by the sight, Amaya thought. Sarai had never been as adamantly opposed to elves as she had been, even when they were fighting side by side at the Breach against them. Her sister’s heart had always been more open, more easily forgiving. Or maybe it just hadn’t seen as much combat as Amaya’s had. Perhaps Sarai had escaped the cruelty of war just at just the right moment to remain relatively untouched by it.

Amaya was grateful for that. Her sister had been a skilled fighter and an exemplary soldier, one Amaya could always count on to have her back, yet even back then she rather would have seen Sarai’s lips and fingertips stained red with jelly than with blood.

Her gaze wandered to the basket of jelly tarts she’d brought with her earlier. They looked delicious, just like they always had. Barius had really outdone himself again, and he’d smiled so cheekily when he told her that he’d managed to keep the treats away from prying fingers, including Ezran’s, that guilt churned in Amaya’s stomach. She knew Barius’s hard work would ultimately be for nothing.

She hadn’t been able to stomach a jelly tart since Sarai had died.

Amaya had tried, of course – on that first birthday after her sister’s death when the whole kingdom mourned their queen and she her only sister. But the smell of the jelly alone had been enough to trigger memories of Sarai that were almost unbearable. Memories that cut so deep they left Amaya’s heart bleeding every time they resurfaced and made her miss her sister more than she’d ever thought possible.

Most days, Amaya could barely stand the sight of the jelly tarts Sarai loved so much without being reminded of what she’d lost all those years ago. Today was no different in that regard. Her grief felt almost overwhelming, as if merely ten hours and not ten years had passed since she’d lost her sister. But Amaya still forced herself to look, to face her demons for once instead of avoiding them like she did most days, and she let the sadness crash over her like a tidal wave until tears burned her eyes and the jelly tarts in front of her became blurry.

This day and Sarai’s birthday were the only days she surrendered herself to her grief so utterly and completely. It was only up here, high above the kingdom and far away from prying eyes, that she openly mourned for everything the war had taken from her. She allowed the tears to fall and didn’t try to stop them as she wept for a life that had been cut too short too soon. She gasped for breath, and when she thought her heartache and anguish would swallow her whole, her gaze landed on the jelly tarts once more and she remembered the happiness and delight they had always brought her sister.

It was enough to make her smile through her tears even though the place next to her still remained woefully empty. She dried her eyes on her sleeve and with one last look at Barius’s treats, Amaya turned away from both the emptiness next to her and the basket full of jelly tarts until she felt like she could breathe again.

Before her, the night sky stretched out endlessly, and she let her eyes roam over a thousand clusters of stars. It was a beautiful sight, despite the loneliness she felt in her very bones. There were no clouds, and the moon was as young as the next year would soon be. Beyond the courtyard with its numerous torches the shadows of a forest, dark against the deep blue sky, stretched to the horizon and reached for the stars.

Amaya folded her arms on top of the wall in front of her and rested her chin on them. Sarai had loved those woods. As often as she could she took Callum there after they’d moved into the castle, and when Ezran was born she couldn’t stop talking about how much she wanted to show him the trees and all the animals that lived in them _. He’s going to love it there, Amaya. He’ll be a child of nature. Just mark my words._

With a pang in her heart Amaya realized she didn’t know if Sarai ever got to take Ezran to the forest. She must have, Amaya thought, but the fact was that she didn’t know – because she hadn’t been there and hadn’t asked. There were so many things Amaya had never gotten the chance to ask her sister, hadn’t _said_ to her, and she regretted that now more than anything. She wished she hadn’t been so busy back then, that she hadn’t put her duty to her country before that to her family. She should have made an effort to visit more, to spend more time with Sarai, Harrow and her nephews instead of allowing her job to take over her life.

She should have done a lot of things, she thought regretfully.

There was nothing Amaya could do about the regrets she had in regard to her late sister and her husband now, but Callum and Ezran were a different matter. With the war over and Ezran stepping into his father’s footsteps and Callum ensuring peace between Katolis and Xadia by forming an alliance with the elves, Amaya had decided to step down from her position as General of the Standing Battalion to become one of Ezran’s councilors alongside Opeli and Callum. It allowed her to be close to her nephews and support them in whatever way they needed her and still do her duty to Katolis as well, albeit in a more civilian manner now.

There hadn’t been a moment since then that Amaya regretted her decision. She had enjoyed her time as general, had excelled at it, but she had been at constant war for so long that she could feel it chipping away at her, bit by bit, slowly wearing her down. It had made her blind, had made her numb. She’d done her best to ignore the signs of battle fatigue over the years and had instead allowed her anger and grief to guide her in situations when she should have listened to her heart and shown compassion.

It was another thing she regretted now.

Luckily, her time with the Sunfire Elves had opened her eyes and made her see beyond her self-taught hatred, and seeing the Dragon Prince reunited with his mother had affirmed Amaya’s change of heart. But it was Gren crying in her arms on the battlefield that made her truly realize that she couldn’t go on the way she had, that her actions had consequences not only for herself but for those around her as well. It had been a wake-up call, and one Amaya was immensely grateful for. Without it she never would have considered stepping down and giving up that part of her life, and she never would have realized how much joy the quiet and peacefulness of a civilian life could bring her.

Instead of weapon’s practice her mornings belonged to council meetings now. She could sleep in a little if she wanted to, something Amaya still couldn’t get quite used to even after months of living in the castle. Breakfast was one of her favorite parts of the day, and all the different kinds of fruit and bread that filled the tables of the dining hall never failed to delight her.

 _How have we managed to survive on field rations and stale bread for all these years?_ Gren had asked her the first morning they had stepped into the dining hall together, eyes wide as he took in the richly set tables. Amaya didn’t have an answer for him.

After breakfast the meetings started, and they were anything but as dull as she had always imagined them to be. Ezran was still young, and Amaya enjoyed his unconventional and optimistic thinking a great deal and only rarely had to advice more caution. Her nephew bore the crown well, and the pride Amaya felt every time she saw him on the throne could not be put into words.

Neither could the joy she felt when Ezran looked not only to her for guidance but to Gren as well. Gren wasn’t an official member of the council, not yet (though Amaya knew Ezran intended to change that in the new year), yet Ezran valued Gren’s opinion as if he were. Whenever he was faced with making difficult decisions, he made sure to address Gren directly to prompt him to join the discussions with his own voice, and Gren, though a little hesitant and unsure, always presented his unique point of view on the matter at hand in a way that was eloquent yet easy to understand.

It felt good to have her oldest and closest friend finally be recognized for his talents as a diplomat, and Amaya could see how Gren, though surprised every time he was asked for his opinion, thrived under the attention. It never failed to make her heart swell to see his freckled cheeks flush with happiness.

The meetings usually lasted until lunch, and afterwards Amaya would exchange her robes for her armor and leave the throne room behind in favor of the courtyard. She might not be commanding the Standing Battalion anymore, but she took pride in selecting and training Katolis’s most loyal soldiers for the Crown Guard. It kept her on her feet and Ezran as safe as he could possibly be as king – a situation that benefitted everyone.

What Amaya hadn’t expected to come out of this arrangement was the way she and Gren had grown close to Soren and Marcos over the past months. Both were exceptional young men, and both had proven they were willing to make the hard choice – the right choice – no matter the consequences. That had earned each of them a promotion after their return from Xadia, one they accepted humbly and with heartfelt vows to protect their king and kingdom. But they were still so very young, so very desperate for approval and someone to look up to, and without realizing it Amaya and Gren had provided both.

Now, looking back on it, Amaya couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when things shifted between them and they became so comfortable around each other that Soren and Marcos started calling them Amaya and Gren instead of General and Commander. It had happened gradually over time, and the bond they shared now went far beyond a professional relationship. Every morning they ate breakfast together (something Amaya insisted on because otherwise Soren and Marcos would skip the most important meal of the day in favor of sleeping an hour longer and that was just unacceptable) and it wasn’t that unusual a sight to find them all together in the evening as well, playing a boardgame or just quietly talking to each other.

It hadn’t been until her last birthday, though, that Amaya truly noticed how close they had all become. At breakfast, Soren and Marcos had surprised her by signing to her on their own without needing Gren to interpret. Amaya’s heart had almost burst with affection when Gren told her later how, three months ago, they had come to him and asked him to practice with them an hour every evening so language wouldn’t be a barrier anymore and they could talk to her without his help.

Sometimes, in the lonely hours of the night, Amaya wondered if that was what having a family felt like. There was this warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach every time the four of them were together, the kind only the deepest affection could elicit, and every protective instinct Amaya had flared up around them. Gren might not be her husband, wasn’t even her lover, and Soren and Marcos weren’t her sons – yet when she looked at them a part of her wished they were, and she was filled with a fierce longing she’d never felt before. She wanted to hold them close and never let them go, and sometimes she couldn’t imagine a greater joy than seeing them all smile and goof around without a care in the world.

And then there were those quiet moments late in the evenings or early in the mornings when she looked at Gren and wanted nothing more than to reach out and count all the freckles on his face with her lips.

Those thoughts, that urge to be closer to him than she’d ever been before, was a recent development. It had only been after they’d left the army life behind that Amaya allowed herself to see Gren in a different light. With their differences in rank not being an issue anymore, she started to notice all those little things she’d always forced herself to be blind to before: the way he smiled when he thought she wasn’t looking, how his freckles darkened when he blushed – the nervous beating of her heart every time their hands touched accidentally.

Amaya might not have experienced the feeling of butterflies in her stomach for quite some time but there was no denying how she felt for Gren now that she couldn’t use her duties to the Standing Battalion as an excuse anymore. The signs were all there, and sooner or later she would have to do something about them – and Amaya knew exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to find out what a new year might bring with Gren at her side as more than her Voice and friend. She wanted to touch his hands with purpose and not on accident, and to hold onto them and stroke her thumbs over the soft skin of his palms. She wanted to look at him and let him see all of her, with nothing standing between them anymore – no rank, no secrets, no duties.

Amaya heaved a sigh. She wanted a lot of things and rarely allowed her thoughts to stray that far. But tonight, with the loss of Sarai lying heavily on her heart, she relished the comfort those daydreams brought her. How she wished Sarai could have met Gren. Amaya had no doubt that her sister would have liked him. Gren was not only one of the most likeable people one could imagine, he was also kind and good-hearted – something Sarai would have picked up on the moment she laid eyes on him.

She’d also have realized the depth of Amaya’s feelings for him long before Amaya had, and she would have teased her mercilessly for it. The thought made Amaya smile. She liked to think that Sarai would be happy for her if she were here right now, happy that Amaya had found someone so caring and honest, who filled a little bit of the loneliness she’d left behind.

Even this morning, when Amaya had woken up with a heavy heart, seeing Gren’s soft smile and Marcos’s affectionate roll of his eyes when Soren almost choked on his bread had been enough to lift her sorrow at least a little. Those three ( _her guys,_ as she sometimes called them affectionately in her mind) were the best thing that ever happened to her, and she couldn’t imagine her life without them anymore.

Almost unconsciously, Amaya’s gaze drifted towards the woods again. An image of a cabin appeared before her eyes, one built with her own two hands and with the help of six more. She imagined it standing two stories high and having enough room for her, Gren, Soren and Marcos – and the dog she knew Gren had always wanted but would never get for himself. There were brightly lit windows looking in on a warm living room with a fireplace to keep the chill out, and a huge kitchen that would be Gren and Marcos’s domain since Amaya couldn’t cook to save her life and Soren would be happy to eat only bread all day if someone let him.

Amaya chuckled silently at the thought.

In the evenings, when darkness fell and it was time to say good-night, instead of the simple smile she gave them now she liked to imagine she would give Soren and Marcos each a kiss on the forehead before they went to their rooms – a small sign of affection Amaya was still too self-conscious to bestow upon them in the busy halls of the castle. But in her home, in _their_ home, far away from prying eyes and people running their mouths things would be different. She would kiss Gren there, too, before leading him up to their bedroom. He would light a candle so they could talk, and she would pull him towards the bed, finally able to hold him in her arms just like she had wanted to for so long now.

It was a lovely dream, that hopeful vision of the future. Amaya could see herself being content with a life like that: a simple life; a life full of joy and peace, shared with the people she loved. If Sarai were here, Amaya knew she would be smiling at her: _See, sister_ , she would say, _I told you one day you would lay down your shield and find the true meaning of happiness._

Amaya wished she could share that moment with Sarai, once it happened.

All of a sudden, the air beside her shifted and, startled, Amaya blinked the daydream away. She hadn’t realized she wasn’t alone. She whirled around only to see Gren’s wide eyes staring back at her in surprise. He took a step back and held his hands up high in a gesture that told her he meant no harm. She relaxed at once. 

_Sorry_ , Gren signed sheepishly. _I didn’t mean to startle you_.

Amaya huffed out a laugh, glad that the darkness hid the heat that rose in her cheeks. If Gren only knew the thoughts she had been so utterly lost in …

 _What are you doing up here_? she asked. _Shouldn’t you be enjoying the wine and celebrations?_

Gren made a face and shook his head. _I was looking for you_ , he said. His eyes met hers briefly and he hesitated _. I thought you might like some company, maybe? It’s all right if you don’t, I don’t mean to intrude. I know how special this place is for you, and this day. I just thought I’d make sure you’re all right. Which you are, obviously._ He bit his lip and paused, shaking his head again. _I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. It was a stupid idea._

Amaya felt a rush of affection for him. Of course he knew what this place and day meant to her even though he’d never met Sarai, had never seen her and Amaya sneak away during a feast to climb the castle walls to be alone. But he’d heard about it, and it filled Amaya with so much love that he would go to all this trouble to find her on this night – just to make sure she was all right and offer her his company on the off-chance that she didn’t want to be alone after all.

And now that he was here Amaya realized that alone was the last thing she wanted to be right now. A few hours ago, the thought of anyone other than Sarai sharing this special place with her had seemed utterly preposterous. The very idea of someone else taking her sister’s place would have made her angry and she would have lashed out in grief-fueled fury at the merest suggestion of it.

But now that Gren was standing where Sarai used to be, right by Amaya’s side, it felt different – _she_ felt different, and in a good way. Looking at his face, heated from embarrassment, and seeing how his hands trembled almost imperceptibly from uncertainty when they signed his apologies to her, Amaya couldn’t help but feel that this was how it should be – like he belonged at her side wherever she was and had always been meant to be right there next to her, even here.

It felt _right_ in a way Amaya couldn’t even begin to put into words, so she gave him a reassuring smile instead and signed, _I would love some company, Gren._

The look of pure relief and happiness that lit up his face when he realized he wasn’t being sent away almost rivaled the fireworks that Amaya knew would start soon. His shoulders sagged and the smile that pulled his lips up and brightened his eyes so beautifully was shy and grateful. It made Amaya wonder if she wasn’t the only one who’d felt lonely tonight.

She wanted him to keep smiling at her like that, so without thinking she offered him one of the jelly tarts from the basket, knowing how much he liked sweet things.

Much to her surprise, the smile fell from his face and was replaced by a look of concern. _Are you sure_? he signed, his eyes darting between her and the jelly tart in her hand uncertainly. He knew about her aversion to Barius’s most famous baked goods, of course, and the reason behind it. It warmed her to her deepest core that he was this considerate of her feelings, even though his concern was misplaced.

With gentle fingers Amaya took his hand and carefully pushed the jelly tart into his palm with a nod, silently telling him that she was more than sure. Sarai wouldn’t have wanted what she loved so much to go to waste, and she wouldn’t have wanted Amaya to be alone on this day either and spend the first hours of every new year mourning and wallowing in grief. She would have wanted for her to be happy instead, and in that moment Amaya couldn’t imagine anything making her happier than watching the delight on Gren’s face as he took a first tentative bite out of the jelly tart.

 _Blueberries!_ he exclaimed, his eyes widening in surprise. _I didn’t know Barius used them for jelly tarts!_

Amaya found herself grinning at him despite the bittersweet memories flashing through her mind. Her sister’s delight had been much the same, and she’d almost forgotten what it felt like to make someone happy with such a simple thing as a jelly tart. _They were Sarai’s favorite,_ she confessed. _Barius only made them like this twice a year: on her birthday, and on New Year’s Eve, and for her alone._

A look of realization passed over Gren’s face. He looked down at the jelly tart in his hand with an unreadable expression. _I really shouldn’t be eating this, then._

Amaya reached out before he could put down the jelly tart. _It’s all right_ , she signed.

 _Amaya_ , Gren began but Amaya shook her head.

 _It really is,_ she insisted. _I think it would make my sister happy to see someone else enjoying them._ She met his eyes and held his gaze for a long moment. _It would make me happy, too, Gren._

 _Well,_ Gren signed softly, his eyes full of quiet understanding, _if that’s the case_. He took another careful bite, and his eyes fell involuntarily shut in something close to bliss as he savored the taste.

Amaya smiled, and turned her head away to let her gaze roam once more over the dark woods beyond the courtyard while Gren enjoyed the jelly tart. For the first time since her sister died the smell of blueberries didn’t make her feel sick to her stomach. Maybe it was because Gren’s eyes lit up just like Sarai’s used to do, or because he somehow managed to make it difficult to feel sad and lonely when he was smiling like that, brilliant and beautiful and bright. It eased the ache in Amaya’s heart more than anything had the last few years.

 _What are you looking at?_ Gren asked after a while, licking some blueberry jelly from his fingers. Amaya tried very hard not to find the gesture endearing. It certainly wasn’t when Callum did it.

Still, she couldn’t quite hide her smile when she turned to face Gren. _The forest._

Gren’s eyes briefly flicked towards the woods. _What’s so special about the forest tonight?_

 _Nothing, I suppose_ , she signed after a moment’s thought, wondering how much she should reveal, and if this was the right time for it. _I just think it might be a good place to live at, one day._

It didn’t escape her notice how, next to her, Gren went very still. _You want to move?_

 _Maybe,_ Amaya admitted. _I haven’t decided yet. But I think I’d like to have a place to call my own someday._

 _You mean a home,_ Gren signed, and his hand moved so tentatively towards his cheek to form the word that Amaya was sure he would have been whispering had he spoken aloud. There was something in his eyes when he said that, something that looked a lot like wistful longing, and the familiarity of it made something tighten painfully in Amaya’s chest.

 _This place_ , she began, looking away from Gren and gesturing around them at the castle instead _, has always been Sarai’s. I see her in so many little things: the color of the drapes, the way the paintings are arranged, in the flowers that bloom in the courtyard … she’s everywhere. Most days, I’m glad for that. But sometimes …_

 _It’s a little bit too much,_ Gren finished her thought.

Amaya nodded. He knew her so well. _This has always been a place to come back to for me. But I don’t consider it my home. There is nothing of me in these halls, nothing that keeps me here except the ghosts of the past._ She met Gren’s eyes in the darkness. _And Ezran and Callum, of course,_ she added with a smile. _I would never leave them. It’s just – it’s their home, not mine, and I want to know what it feels like to have a place to call my own. Four walls to come home to._ Amaya huffed out a laugh and shook her head. _It’s silly, isn’t it? I have wonderful rooms in a beautiful castle and all I can think about is a simple house in the woods._

At first, Gren didn’t say anything. He was quiet, and his eyes drifted back towards the forest. They became unfocused, and there was that same longing in them again from before. It made Amaya wonder if they could possibly be seeing the same thing in their minds, the same wonderful and seemingly unattainable dream that had taken hold of her and refused to let go.

 _It’s not silly_ , Gren finally signed softly, turning back to look at her. _A house, even if it’s a castle, isn’t necessarily a home. The place I grew up in …_ he paused, and Amaya wanted to reach out and wipe away the painful look that crossed his face. _It was nothing like this. No grandeur, no comfortable beds, no happiness. No family. I remember wandering the streets as a kid and seeing all those brightly lit windows of the castle and thinking: I wish I could live there._ He smiled a little self-deprecatingly. _And now that I do … you know what, it’s not how I imagined it at all._

Amaya took a step closer. _How did you imagine it?_

 _Like something out of fairytales?_ Gren shrugged. _I thought things would just magically fall into place if I lived here, that I’d be happy. How could I not be, in a place like this?_ He spread out his arms to indicate the high towers around them. Then his shoulders fell and he sighed. _But, to tell you the truth, even after all these months I still feel like I’m just a guest here. Places like this … they’re too much, Amaya. They don’t fit me. All those banquets, and balls and celebrations, all that splendor – that’s not me at all._

 _Why didn’t you say something sooner?_ Amaya asked, wondering how she could have failed to notice that Gren wasn’t happy here. _I’m sure we could have found you different accommodations. There’s no reason for you to stay in a place you don’t like._

Gren met her eyes and even in the darkness Amaya could see the faint blush darkening his cheeks. He took a deep breath, as if steeling himself for something unpleasant. It made Amaya nervous.

 _There’s every reason,_ he finally said bravely. _You’re here._

For a moment all Amaya could do was stare at him. Her heart missed a beat and made up for it by threatening to jump out of her chest. In all these months he’d never uttered a word about this, never complained, because the mere thought of not being close to her was worse than any unhappiness he’d felt. He had stayed for her, and not just now, she realized, but ever since the day they met, always steadfast and unfailing, always by her side. His loyalty, his devotion and the love that fueled it all were laid bare in his eyes for the first time, and Amaya drank it all in like someone dying from thirst.

How had he been able to hide this from her all this time? How had she not realized what it all meant, why he’d always chosen to stay with her instead of following other career opportunities when they presented themselves?

It was all because of her, because he was happiest right where she was.

His selflessness reminded Amaya of her sister. Sarai hadn’t relished the idea of moving into the castle when she married Harrow, either. In fact, she’d loathed it, calling the lords and ladies at court pretentious and boring. And yet in the end she had gone willingly and bore it all with a graceful smile on her face for the very simple reason that she loved Harrow more than she hated her new role as queen.

Looking at Gren now, at the way he was nervously wringing his hands and biting his lip in fear of rejection, Amaya finally understood the longing she’d seen in his eyes earlier. He’d been hoping for a quiet life with her for years, and he’d been patiently waiting for her to catch up all this time. 

Happiness unlike anything she’d ever felt bubbled up inside her.

 _This is it_ , Amaya thought. This was the moment everything would change, the moment she would be brave for him in return and ask him to come with her and share his life with her, just like they’d both dreamed of. 

But before she could sign the words Gren, having obviously heard something, turned away from her to look over the castle wall.

 _What is it?_ Amaya signed, following his gaze.

 _The countdown has begun_ , Gren told her. _It’s almost midnight._

Amaya couldn’t hear the voices down in the courtyard but Gren signed along with them for her benefit without a second thought. _Five, four, three, two, one._

Their eyes met as the sky exploded around them. _Happy turning of the year_ , Gren signed, his face lit up by a thousand fireworks.

 _Happy new year_ , Amaya signed back, and never before had she more believed those words.

There was a look of hesitation on Gren’s face, one born from a confession that hadn’t been answered yet. It was a look Amaya never wanted to see again, so she pulled him into a gentle hug. She felt his arms surround her like a blanket, his warmth seeping through the thick blue material of her tunic, and thought of home. The tip of his nose, cold from the night air, sent shivers down her spine from where it was buried against the bare skin of her neck; reminding her of things to come, things she could hardly wait for.

So when Amaya finally pulled back from the embrace, she didn’t go far. She kept one of her arms wrapped around him to keep him close, and when she looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love and desperate hope in them, she used her other hand to sign, _I want you to come live with me._

Gren’s eyes widened in surprise and he blinked once, twice. _As your roommate?_ he signed hesitantly.

Amaya laughed and she felt her heart swell for this utterly ridiculous and wonderful man in her arms. Raising her hand to his cheek, she briefly stroked the freckles on his smooth skin with her thumb before she signed, _As my partner, Gren._

Then, to dispel any doubts he might still have, she slowly leaned forward to bring their lips together. He met her halfway and a thousand stars exploded behind Amaya’s eyelids when their lips finally touched, brighter and more splendid than any fireworks she’d ever seen. Gren’s hand came up to meet hers and when he gently entwined their fingers Amaya felt her knees going weak. This had to be what coming home felt like, what made Sarai willingly follow Harrow into a life she’d never wanted, and what made Gren stay with her through all these years and hardships they had faced.

She smiled against his lips and when they parted, she could faintly taste the sweetness of blueberries and sugar on the tip of her tongue. For once no grief threatened to overwhelm her. All she felt was happiness and brilliant, all-consuming joy.

The feeling only grew when Gren signed with a trembling hand, _I love you._

 _My heart has always been yours_ , Amaya replied, and she sealed her promise with another soft kiss.

Above them, the fireworks slowly dwindled to an end. They barely noticed as the night, filled with the scent of gunpowder, grew dark around them again. All Amaya had eyes for was Gren and the way he was smiling at her. It was like she was seeing him for the first time, and her fingers eagerly traced the pattern of freckles on his face that had so often reminded her of starbursts. His cheeks were bright with happiness and his lashes lay dark against his skin as he got lost in her touch.

He looked lovely like that, and in that moment Amaya realized she would get to see this side of him for the rest of their lives if she wanted to. And she did want to, with all her heart, and judging by the way Gren was leaning into her touch he wanted that, too.

Amaya brushed her lips against his again to chase the taste of blueberries. Kissing Gren felt heavenly, like puzzle pieces falling into place, and when she pulled back Gren looked so beautifully dazed she couldn’t stop herself from grinning at him.

 _This is not a dream, is it?_ he asked with a love-struck smile.

Amaya shook her head. _No luck there. You’re not getting out of this one so easily, Commander._

Gren laughed, and not for the first time Amaya wished she could hear him, if only once. She imagined his laugh was as handsome and lovely as the rest of him. _Good,_ he signed.

 _Let’s see if you still think that once I’ve put you to work on our home,_ Amaya grinned.

 _Our home_ , Gren mused as if he could hardly believe it. Then, to Amaya’s surprise, he grinned right back at her. _When do we start?_

Warmth pooled in Amaya’s stomach. What had she ever done to deserve someone like him in her life, let alone loving her back? And all because she’d finally started looking for an interpreter after Sarai’s death, something her sister had been urging her to do for years. Her whole life had changed because of that, and for the better.

Amaya could almost hear Sarai saying, _I told you so_ , and for once the thought of her sister didn’t make her feel sad.

This time, it made her smile.

She looked up at Gren, took in his flushed face and how soft his eyes looked in the dim light, and leaned up to brush her lips against his once more, just because she could.

 _Today,_ she signed. _Let’s start today._

Gren nodded and pressed a gentle kiss against her temple before pulling her close. _I can’t imagine a better way to start the new year._

Amaya closed her eyes and smiled.

Neither could she.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my little new year's gift to the Gremaya fandom! 
> 
> For anyone wanting to say hi on tumblr, you can find my blog [here](https://ailendolin.tumblr.com/) .
> 
> I wish you all a very happy new year and I hope it's going to be a good one for us Gremaya fans!


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